Saturday, November 20, 2010

Troper Tales 2: Electric Self-Insert

Yay more Troper Tales! Sorry about the lack of updates, but I have 3 legitimate reasons to not update:

-School and stuff.

-The Tv Tropes forums are really addictive.

-I'm a lazy ass.

Now that you have a COMPLETELY SATISFACTORY EXPLANATION let's read some more Troper Tales, okay?

From Noble Bigot :

"I'm none too fond of the LGBT (or "Irregulars" as I like to call them) and I particulary dislike trannies, but I think I'm a pretty decent guy regardless."

Hey, of course you are! Everybody at Aryan Nations loves your cookies!

From Disproportionate Retribution :

"This troper was born male, and was sentenced a year's full-time community service for the "crime".

DURRR Wimmin are evil!!! Where does this guy live? In Bizarro World's Sudan?

From Gratuitous Japanese :

"This troper likes to use the word "kawaii" in its context, since there isn't a readily apparent English equivalent."

It's really cute that you do that. I personally find people who do that adorable, because Japanese language is really sweet and charming. Lovable!

From Yandere (Adjust seatbelts now) :

"This troper treated her best friend as the center of her universe and loved her more than anything. That 'best friend' eventually stopped caring about her, stopped being friends with her, and got in a sexual relationship with a guy this troper strongly disliked. The only thing that was stopping me from showing up at his house with a knife was that they both live somewhat far away (though constant hate messages and the sort were sent.) However, I still haven't stopped having fantasies about covering my ex-best friend with her boyfriend's blood and guts."

And thus Chris-Chan found his significant other in This Troper, being happy together and covering people in guts forever and ever.

"I went out with a long-time pal of mine for two months or so. Then I broke up with him. Then, he decided to go out with an exchange student. Only a week later, said exchange student died of some unknown disease... Teehee! "

Maybe it was the AIDS you infected him with LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.

From Kids Are Cruel :

"Some kid "borrowed" This Troper's VHS tape of Casper then conviently moved away. Then there is time some girl called out while he was riding his bike causing him to crash into a parked car. He lost a front tooth! "

I'll tell you what to do.

Find him. Facebook can be very useful. He'll have some photos there. Now you have to look at the background on this photos to trace his home. Google Earth can also be useful.

Now that you know where he lives, go to his house.It doesn't matter the distance when a VHS tape is involved. Ring at his door and wait until he opens. That's where you hit him with the pipe. Now tie him in the basement.

If he has any wife or children, you know what to do. Rape her and, if you are particularly bitter that day rape the children as well. Just don't rape the pets, that would be gross.

And now, some cool blooded torture, you know, bamboo canes between the nails, electrodes in the testicles, the regular stuff. Don't leave any of them alive, of course.

Oh, and don't forget your Casper VHS tape!

From "Tranquil Fury" :


"I was enjoying a beer, when some guy accidentally spilled his cola drink on my white skirt, which was new. I got up, touched his shoulder, and when he turned around I broke his arm. Then I just sat back down and finished my drink. "

Well, this is either a really violent woman or a really average Scottish.

I'm deeply sorry about that joke.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Troper Tales Tidbits. Incest, Stalking and Self-Insert fic.

So here it is. My first article related to Troper Tales, the other hellhole of  Tv Tropes. Unlike its subsection Fetish Fuel, Troper Tales has some interesting entries and can be a fun read. It even has 10 "Crowning Moment of Heartwarming " pages, a fact that I think speaks quite well of Tv Tropes users. But I know you people come here for the weird stuff, so...

From Stalker With A Crush:

"This troper just read this whole page... and hates you all (Or, to be exact, the ones who got stalked). How the HELL did you manage to get someone obsessed with you? I'm the first to admit, I'm a narcissist, so I would KILL for someone to be like that to me. Needless to say, they wouldn't even need to stalk me, as I'd keep them around 24/7. So, I repeat, HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET PEOPLE TO BE OBSESSED WITH YOU?!?!?! * breaks down in depression* "

Legends tell that this person goes to Police Stations every day and screams at women who had been raped how the hell did they manage to get raped. Because, you know, (s)he is a narcissist, and (s)he would KILL for getting raped. It's quite uncomfortable. (S)he also wears a T-Shirt that says "Do what you want, I'm a narcissist". Hell, (s)he is probably masturbating while reading this.

"This troper has a stalker who is four years older than her (she's in grade nine, stalker's in grade 12) who constantly follows and will approach her. Not only that, her stalker is extremely touchy-feely and has tried to massage this troper's shoulders numerous times, even though [I've] made it clear [I] do not like it. [I] finally just had to spoil the ending of Code Geass to get them off of my back. Did [I] mention that my stalker is a 6'2 girl? This troper is straight and is trying to stay faaaaar away. "


Now you know, if someone is stalking you, you just have to spoil the ending of some anime and that person will dissapear. Or he might as well rape you. It depends in the person.

"This troper took as many pictures of her as he dared. The jpegs and video clips are all in an organized folder... many times larger than the porn stash. MIKANAAAAAA "

Hey look, is Mayor Kravindish.



From Teacher Student Romance:

"I complimented my teacher's ass today thinking she would not hear (she was doing a 1 on 3 lesson, so it was just her and my mates) a couple of minutes later she pushed her hips against my shoulders for about 2 minutes. hard. she started moaning / panting loud enough for me to hear through my headphones that were on full blast. "

Den de nex dai we wuz at claz and seh tol me2 go 2 hre ofis an seh sed 2 me

-De teecha - I no wat u sed abut m ass ysterdau
Me: Im so sorry
*de teech: u don need 2 b. I liek it.

Den seh leaned in extra-close an i lloked in2 her awesum cleevage an i felt reely lucky.

And then…………… suddenly just as I her kissed me passionately. she climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against her desk. i took of her top and her took of my clothes. Then i put my boy thingie into hers and we did it for the first time.

-OH Dis troper!11111 Oh my fucking gud Dis troper11111!!! She screemed passively as i had an eructation. And then...

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!!!

It was................................. de principal!!!


From Parental Incest:

"This troper had a dream in which this happened. She woke up thoroughly squicked and needing Brain Bleach. "

OK, I can't really blame her because it just happened in a dream, but...did you really felt the need to tell the whole Internet about it? There's things you don't want to share with anyone, and this is definetly one of them.

So that's it. Yes, I know is a short entry,but I need to go and look for more Troper Tales pages to rant about. There are lots of them! If you have any suggestions, just post a comment.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

This Troper might make "Troper Tales" articles.

I'm not going to stop doing Fetish Fuel, but seeing as a lot of the entries there share the same fetishes, I think is redundant to diss in transformation or Loli three times in the same article. So I'll start doing also Troper Tales. Now, where I should begin?


* reads the Stalker With A Crush page*



....


.....


Oh boy, this is going to be fun.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

You think that's bad? Remember the Family Guy article?

Yep,I am alive. I have been busy with school and other IRL shit, so I think you people will understand that I'm slowing down the frequency of the posts.
Anyway, today we are looking at the Family Guy article. Before I even start, I have to say that I don't understand people being turned on by anything that Seth McFarlane draws. The characters are so B^U that I find it impossible even when they rely in very obvious Fan Service.

Well,let's see this. This will be a short one.

"And it's entirely possible that Peter has a cuckold fetish, as he was seriously juiced to find out Lois used to be a KISS groupie, and Brian has hinted that Lois hasn't even been faithful in marriage. "

You say cuckold fetish, I say blind stupidness. That's the joke,Peter is such an idiot that he doesn't realize that Lois cheating on him is something bad.

"Family Guy also had Chris' hot teacher Mrs. Lockhart, who stored everything in her big, bouncy cleavage. I've never wanted to be a piece of chalk, a sword, or an entire classroom's worth of test papers so badly in my life. "

AND SHE MARRIES TO A BEAR. OmG this furry troper almost dies when (s)he watched it the first time because... I can't do it, I can't go on like this,I tried writing like someone who writes in FF and I just can't. I have zero talent. *sob*

"This troper is fairly certain someone has the hots for Joe. A well-built, good looking man in a wheelchair. And the fact that he can't have sex undoubtedly sets off a few eunuch fetishists. "

Eunuch fetishists? Why? How can someone be excited by an eunuch? What do you think you can do with an eunuch? Look at him while he doesn't have sex to you? Wow, that sounds sexy.

"Brian, a dog, gets with human women."

And that is quite cool,because, you know, hi stiffs his little dog pink thingy in a woman's vagina. And he probably makes those funny movements dogs make when they are humping each other. Well, time to eat lunch.

"In the "Really starting to wonder about Seth McFarlane..." files, they seem to show women on the toilet an awful lot. "

IS POTTY HUMOUR. That's it. Seth McFarlane thinks poop = hilarious. His only fetish is making gallons of money thanks to fart jokes.

"Meg, definitely. Canon may try to make her seem as hideous as possible, but they didn't take a few things into account: Glasses, Yandere tendencies, chubby chasers. Hell, just check the Family Guy folder at hentaifoundry.com. Next to Lois, Meg is the most commonly drawn female character. "

Ah,Family Guy porn. That thing that is so,so,so,so,so badly drawn. No one should masturbate to this. Is like paying for an account in DrawnSex.com.

"This troper thinks she's hot too! Glasses, a little chubby, Deadpan Snarker look in her face, loser status, and having a nerd always stalking her. She has three geeky loser friends who also wear glasses! "

Deadpan Snarker? That's the usual McFarlane expression. Everybody has it in these cartoons. B^U.

"Stewie and, most of, his girlfriends. Bonus points for the Foe Yay with his half-brother and his odd friendship with Brian."

And this is the kind of people who looks at babyfur,if you ever wondered.

Since this is short, I'll like to share with you the results of an investigation I've been doing during this summer. I've come to the conclusion that Chris Bores, Tim Buckley and Seth McFarlane are the same person. Here are some evidences.

  •   The three of them are famous thanks to copying a popular concept.
  •   Their works are a case of  Love It or Hate It
  •   They have a similar sense of humor consisting in random jokes not always relating to the story and the use of violence as a punchline
  •   Their characters are rather inexpressive.
  •   Their attempts to drama or seriousness have been poorly received.
  •   They are fat.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Looney Tunes. Childhood ruined in 3...2...1....

Who would have thought that the classic Looney Tunes cartoons could be Fetish Fuel for someone? Well, they are, and I think we should respect everyone no matter their sexual tendences.

.....


.....



Nah, I'm just screwing with you.

"The sheer number of times that Bugs Bunny crossdresses boggles the mind. Probably the most famous example is in "What's Opera, Doc?""

Oh, and don't forget kissing another man. Because that's obviously treated as Fetish Fuel, and not as a comic relief.

"In one cartoon, Bugs marries Elmer Fudd in a Dream Sequence. With Fudd wearing the wedding dress."

It seems they didn't forget it.Good. Now seriously, it's amazing how people can find sexual excitement in situations that are played for laughs in children's cartoons. I understand people being furries, but c'mon, this is freaking Looney Tunes! It's like someone being excited by Olive Oyl. Is just wrong.

"Not one mention of Lola Bunny? Really? For shame..."

Hey Nostalgia Critic what do you have to say? :
"We don't wanna fuck bunnies! ...I can't believe I have to say this, we don't wanna fuck bunnies! I mean we're people! Therefore we like to fuck other people! I'm sure there's some SMALL percentage of people out there that like to fuck bunnies, but that hardly seems like a very profitable demographic. I mean, I put it to you: Have you ever seen a bunny that you ACTUALLY had the hots for?"
Poor innocent little guy, he didn't know of furries by that time.

"In "Banty Raids", Foghorn Leghorn is bound and beak-tied and forcibly dressed in drag by a machine, then married to a horny bantam rooster. "

Ok, the bound fetish is pretty common in real life, so I guess it's fine. The problem here once again is there are Looney Tunes cartoons. I think there are better places to please your bound fetish than Looney Tunes.

"Penelope Pussycat, the cat from the Pepe LePew shorts, especially when she gets a voice. Everything Sounds Sexier In French, indeed."

This is like the Lola Bunny thing, so I won't repeat myself in that. The response to that, however...

"By the way, what was the deal with Pepe? He's an attempted rapist for crying out loud."

Whoah,whoah,whoah and I thought I had a dirty mind. You know, there's platonic love and then there's rape. I don't remember Pepe le Pew putting sleeping pills in Penelope's drink anyway.

"This troper has sometimes had rather evil daydreams of Wile E. Coyote finally catching the Road Runner and eating him. What? That's what he wants to do!"

Oh my god an animal eating another animal? That is so exciting for some reason. Well, at least this person can say he has his collection of nature documentaries with educational purposes.

Friday, September 3, 2010

Weird Fetishes sell. ( Advertising )

You wouldn't expect something so harmless-looking like the "Advertising" article to be material for this blog. Well, yes it is. Sorry, I can't come with anything witty to write here.

"A German ad for Tampax brand tampons involves a woman, naked except for white panties and goggles, being sprayed with red liquid. The camera zooms in on her torso, then her face being covered with the red liquid, then zooms back out to display her still pristine white panties, despite being otherwise completely covered in the "blood"."

Watching "The Shining" with this person must be really weird. You know, for the erections and all that.

"There was a European commercial for fruit and vegetables that had them popping and dripping all over women's faces."

 That commercial was a parody of the concept "Sex Sells". Well, this person obviously didn't get the joke.

"The Orangina advertisements. It's like the ad crew, when asked to create an animal mascot group that would appeal to adults, went online and downloaded as much Furry porn as they could, for reference. Words cannot do it justice."

Oh my God, the furries have gained access to the publicity bussiness! They are gaining power, I told you! Soon, the whole planet will be theirs and no one will be safe! It's time to panic!!!! Seriously though, I have to agree that that commercial is so obviously furry appealing that I can't really criticize that Troper for putting it in.

"There was a commercial for Hardee's in which people are "measuring" how big their mouths are - by stuffing their fists, or a huge stack of straws. An article for Slate even comment on how they managed to get this one in general hours."

I bet the Goatse guy used the same methods seen in that commercial. There, if you ever found that commercial sexually appealing I ruined it forever. I'm a bastard like that.

"Subservient Chicken, anyone?"

No, non, nein, не, Não, Nu, Ej, δεν, Yok, ううん,  نو... well, I think you get it.
 Ok, one more




"The infamous Carls Jr. commercials with Paris Hilton in a skimpy black outfit washing a car is considered hot by a certain section of the populace."

I can understand furry. I can understand Shota and Loli. I can understand inflation, bestialism, vorephilia. I can even understand that someone feels sexually aroused by "2 girls 1 cup". But Paris Hilton ? You are seriously messed up.

"The new M&M's Premiums commercials with the green M&M dancing around and licking chocolate off her fingers suggestively all while being showered with little M&M's like flower petals. Hotness!!"

-The guy with no name that shows up for no reason in " The Room" to make out with his girlfriend says : "Chocolate is a symbol of love".

"The new Old Navy ads featuring talking mannequins can be somewhat appealing if you have an inanimate TF fetish...Or So I Heard."

You know, it's called Uncanny Valley for a reason.

" This Capri Sun spot, which has a young Asian girl's hands and feet turned into whoopee cushions. Some kind of weird crossover between bondage, Lolicon, and inflation. And why the lingering shots of her feet? "

You know, when it features live actions humans is not really Lolicon. Just saying that.

"This German anti sexual abuse ad manages to mix Fetish Fuel, Squick, Misaimed Fandom, Naughty Tentacles, Poes Law, Uncanny Valley, Star Fish Alien, Nightmare Fuel, Mars Needs Women, Does This Remind You Of Anything, Freud Was Right, and Puppeteer Parasite all in one ad. And notice that she never actually attacks it or even attepts to stop it, Her worst reaction is in middle age, when she's like "Awe, I'm about to get raped again. Oh well."

I tried to watch that and I couldn't make it to the half, so I'll let the Tropers respond for me :

  • This troper (who, admittedly, has had close brushes with sexual abuse in the past) found the ad intensely creepy. If you aren't into tentacle rape, the whole sinuous snake thing textured like human flesh is Nausea Fuel right off the bat. Since childhood, the woman in the ad is just resigned to having this thing draped all over her. It's not the sexual abuse that continues, but the scars it leaves. Hell, this troper is into tentacle porn and it made her want to gag.
  • Well, I think that indicates how unsuccessful the ad is; when the only people who are creeped out are the ones who've been through it, I think it's safe to say you've screwed up.
  • When your reaction to this ad is "o hai, Fetish Fuel", I think it's safe to say, YOU're messed up.
Thanks. I couldn't say it better. Mainly because I suck at English.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Harry Potter and the Leather Pants of Doom

Today we are looking at the Harry Potter article. You know, for a series that has spawned such a large number of Slash Fics the article about it in Fetish Fuel is not as bad as you would imagine. But don't worry , we'll find something.


"I'm sure Bellatrix Lestrange from Harry Potter was intended to send chills down the spines of twelve-year-old fangirls. Just not in that way! (She could probably deal out some GREAT discipline...and imagine being Voldemort, rewarding her for a successful mission...Mmmm.) As it happens, said fangirl realized she liked girls as a direct result of her obsessive love for dear Bella. So it goes."

Well, if you're talking about the Bellatrix of the movies, I can understand. She's played by Helena Bonham Carter,after all. Now, if you are talking about the Bellatrix from the books...*shudders*  Sorry, but she is just scary! She killed Sirius! Poor guy *cries manly tears*

"Yes, we know he's not supposed to be sexy... but Snape's insistence on being called "Sir" still sends this troper's mind places that probably don't need to be expounded upon."


That was nice from you to no expound that. No, really.

"The very fact that a sweet, kind, reserved man like Remus Lupin has his... wolfish tendencies he must keep at bay... er, yeah, see the Twilight entry above. His "wolfish" nature is of course quite popular in fanfic."

I guess the Twilight entry (s)he is refering to was there before Harry Potter got its own page and it was placed in the Literature page. Anyway if I remember well the wolf Lupin transforms into in the books is described to look a lot like a regular wolf, so yeah. Oh, the werewolf from the movies? Sorry, I'm trying to delete the third movie from my mind.

"Sirius Black. Tom Riddle. Severus Snape."

Umm... Would you care to explain why? You are going against the Wiki rules, ma 'am!


"Harry Potter. When he is mad. Really, really mad."

Ugh... Sorry, it's OK you like it, it's only that I hated those parts of the books. Seriously, when did Harry Potter turn into a whiny brat that spents a third of the book talking in all-caps? He looks like a Youtube commenter.

"This troper just read a post on a forum that pointed out Dudley's only non-Harry contact with wizards gave him A: a pig's tail, and B: a large tongue. Upon reading that, this troper paused, then immediately opened the edit page for TV Tropes' Fetish Fuel:Literature."

I can see why would you want someone with a large tongue, but a pig's tail?  Even if you are a furry that's not exciting. It's a human with a pig's tail!

"The Death Eaters and the Ministry under Voldemort's control have strong Nazi overtones to them. These often achieve the desired result, but sometimes... they achieve something else. (Also, Gellert Grindelwald. Handsome blond gay Nazi, basically, and the whole covert poisonous friendship thing really, really pushes this troper's buttons. Damn it.)"

You know who also liked nazis? HITLER!! And you know who also made predictable jokes? TIM BUCKLEY!!

"The scene in Deathly Hallows, where Draco's Mom whispered in Harry's ear while feeling his chest, is the only time this troper has felt something move in his pants..."

Dude, she is asking him about the fate of her son. It's one of the most emotionally intense parts of the book and it gave you a boner? I pity you.

"In Goblet of Fire when Draco gets turned into a ferret against his will."

This is like the "SpongeBob turning into an octopus"  scene. Listen, I can understand transformation fetishes, but seriously, this is a 14-year-old boy turning into a ferret! How can be someone be turned on by that? Apparently I'm a self-righteous douche for not understanding it. Well , thats just wrong and *cough* GOD HATES FAGS *cough*. Oh man,this coughs. I need some Juanolas.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Code Lyoko. Pedobear would be proud

I'm not sure if you guys now a lot about Code Lyoko,since is a more obscure show that Pokemon or SpongeBob Squarepants,so I'll make a little summary of it before I start with the post.

Code Lyoko is a French animation series that follows the adventures of four kids that discover a supercomputer in the basement of an abandoned factory. This computer allows them to enter in the world of Lyoko,where the evil IA Xana is doing mischiefs that often materialize in the real world. They have to stop Xana with the help of the good IA Aelita and the ability of the computer to return 24 hours in the real world.

Here's a picture of the main characters

From left to right: Jeremy, Ulrich, Yumi, and Odd. Yeah,that's supposed to be a dog

Now that you know,let's start with this.

"The Schyphozoa and his bit "possessing Aelita" or "stealing her memories". And the tree roots in "Sabotage" molesting Yumi..."

Tentacle rape. Did I mention that they are 11 years old? And this is Fetish Fuel? Meaning that the person who wrote this probably masturbates thinking about it? Well,this is a bit tricky,since Aelita is an IA,so she is not really 11 years old , only looks like one,but still...Ugh.

"In "Attack of the Zombies", 11-year-old Milly is attacked in the shower by her zombified friend Tamiya, and spends the rest of the episode in a bathrobe. Could be as much Nightmare Fuel as Fetish Fuel, though"

"Could be?" 11-year-old girls attacked by zombies! In the shower! There are like 3 different fetishes there! I don't find the situation that scary,though. Unless you are talking about the concept of people being turned on by this. Then yeah, it's scary.

"In "Routine", as if the almost-kiss wasn't enough, at one point early in the episode, when Ulrich and one-off character Émilie are walking down a hallway towards each other, both in bathrobes, Émilie's bathrobe is oh-so-casually sliding off her shoulder, though she puts it back up after they cross paths. Did we mention this is right after Ulrich's shower scene? Children's sci-fi adventure show indeed."

 Oh my God, two kids in bathrobes?? AFTER SHOWERING?? And the girl's freaking shoulder is shown??? I must fap furiously!!!!! This show is obviously not for children. It's for adults. Pedophiles,but adults still.

"Why, why, why did Yumi only wore her party clothes in the first episode and never thereafter? Detached Sleeves + Bare Your Midriff + Minidress of Power + Zettai Ryouiki = Hot Damn!"

 You forgot a term in the equation. Here you got: Detached Sleeves + Bare Your Midriff + Minidress of Power + Zettai Ryouiki + Eleven years = You pervert

"Is there a Big Head fetish out there?"

You don't know how bad I wish there isn't.

"There is indeed. In fact, it frequently (though not always) goes well with the glasses fetish, the genius fetish, and the technogeek fetish"

 Fuck you.

"Another little bit of Fridge Logic: during Season 1, in-between XANA's attacks, Aelita is shown "learning about the real world" with the interface of a tower. Now, this likely mean through the Internet... which would equate to lots of time spent on the Web — more than a year, in fact, and of full-time, since she has no need for sleep at this point. Now, when you consider the obvious..."

 Wow, you are overthinking too much. So a girl having Internet access is somehow you fetish because she can watch porn?  Yeah of course, who doesn't know 11-year-old girls that watch porn everyday? When you let a girl of that age access to Internet, she will probably watch Justin Bieber videos and make a blog about her cat. That's it.

"Ulrich and Odd share a room. Opportunities for Ho Yay, anyone?"

There's no way they can share the room because they are friends,of course. They must be closet gays. So acording to this Fueler standards, if you share a room with your sister is because you are into incest,right?

So that makes it. There are more things in the page,but I think we all have had enough with the pedos, right?

(Fun Fact: In Spanish,"pedo" means fart. Another reason to them to be even more pathetic)

Saturday, August 21, 2010

And now for something completely different....

I'm sure a lot of my readers (if not all of them) now about this blog thanks to Irate Gamer Sucks, a blog of which I'm an avid reader and commenter. A while ago a posted a comment wondering how could be the cutscenes of "The Irate Gamer Game" (that's right,they are making a game about him) I figured out they will end up being something like this:

-IG: (while looking Wikipedia) Gee,it sure it's boring around here.
-Wise Sage: MAH BOI,this fact-checking is what all true reviewers strive for!
-IG: I just wonder what James's up to.
-The Genie: Wise Sage,James and his minions have seized the island of Youtube.
-WS: Mmmm...How can we make money?
-Genie: It is written.Only Chris can copy James
-IG: Great!I'll write some jokes!
-Genie: There is no time.Your special effects are enough.
-IG: How about a kiss,for luck?
-Jennifer: You've GOT to be kidding.
-Genie: Bangalang! We're off!
-IG: Whoah! What are all those videos?
-Genie: These are the Reviews of James.You must copy each.
-IG: I guess I better be going.
-Genie: Here is Game Genie.Where do you wish to go?

 And now, exclusively for a blog that has nothing to do with Irate Gamer, the final cutscene of "The Irate Gamer Game"! :

-Youtube President: Join us Chris, and we will make yor videos the most viewed in Youtube!
-Irate Gamer: Cool! I'll join you.
-AVGN: NOOOOOO!! Not into Gametrailers!!! It SUUUUUUUCKSS!!!!
-The Genie: Well done,Chris! Mike Matei is once again pissed. Cum. Look,already Youtube is giving you money. The fanboys are singing, isn't it beautiful?
-Irate Gamer: Golly.
-The Genie: As it is written: You,Chris, are now a Youtube partner!
-Irate Gamer: I guess that's worth a kiss,huh?
- Jennifer: Hah!
-Irate Gamer: I won!

The next entry will be a normal one, I promise

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Pokemon Part Two : The Bestiality Kicks In!

Yeah,the second part. The article is full of Furries and Shota, so I'm not going to list them all. So this post is gonna be shorter than the first one.


"No one's mentioned MEWTWO? For this troper's he's the best thing about the anime series: Tragic origins, strangely humaniod and alien at the same time, very flawed and deep, and has touches of heartwarming roles like Overprotective Dad and Papa Wolf for his fellow clones. Not to mention when Dan Green's voicing him, and he's a Woobie-tastic badass psychic... Good Grief, he's practically the River Tam of the franchise! Not to This Troper's surprise, he's got fanarts with Lucario (Furries) and Gardevoir (Fangirls)..."

Hey, if you like cat-alien things I don't got anything against it. Wait. Yes,yes I do. But Metwo is nowhere near to a deep character. No one in Pokemon is.

"And then there's the significant amount of Power Perversion Potential one could get by combining a Poke Ball and Bill's faulty teleporter that turns people into Pokemon. Just make sure you have the right badges for high-level members of the opposite sex"

Why on the mother on fuck would you want to turn a human into a Pokemon in order to fuck him? It wouldn't be better to just have sex with human? Oh,and the badges so people don't try to resist when they are getting raped. I need to stop overthinking about Fetish Fuel articles.

"Latias. Cute, playful and sweet. Oh yeah, sight-sharing, and a telepath. Oh and a shapeshifter."

Cute, playful and sweet. Don't you just wanna fuck it after reading this?

"Reshiram was obviously intended as fetish fuel. I mean seriously, what could be the point of that "hair" sticking out between its legs?"

Hmmm * Goes check out picture of Reshiram * Oh SHIT how I'm gonna clean the puke of the computer now?

"Pokemon themselves are powerful creatures that are potentially as intelligent as humans (they can even communicate in various ways even if they can't talk), who often enter into what appears to be a subservient relationship of their own free will, And, as mentioned above, they don't find little things like Genus or Species to be an effective deterrent to mating, and often develop deep attachments to humans. In other words, Bestiality with about 50% of what's abhorrent about it removed."

 Oh my god where do I start. 50%?  That means that 50% of what makes it abhorrent is still there. Like,you know, having sex with a FUCKING animal? And the worst thing is that the people below him don't call him a pervert or mock him. No,they fucking agree with him! One even says that removes EVERYTHING bad about bestiality. People,just a word: YOU WANT TO FUCK POKEMON. That's bad in every possible way. And don't even try to justify yourselves. All your silly arguments can be rebutted with the phrase I typed in caps above. Come on, go ahead. I'm ready to copy paste it

Friday, August 13, 2010

Pokemon. Gotta ..."catch" them all! (First Part)

The Pokemon article is less squicky that the SSB one.Of course,that's not saying much. It's Furry territory with some little sparkles of Shota refering to the human characters.Let's see:

"Gotta Catch Em All ... Then have Sex with them. This includes, but is not limited to Time, Space, Darkness, The Land, The Sea, The Sky, Various other elements, and all of creation and life itself!"

This sentence is very,very strange. There are some recurring fetishes in TV Tropes,but I've never seen one of this magnitude. A fetish for creation and life itself? This person wants to fuck literally everything. Everything.  

 "Also, Absol. A few pokemon are easy to consider as The Woobie. And if you're into that..."

What? Absol is not even anthropomorfic. It's four-legged, so It's not even furry-friendly, It's downright zoophiliac. And If you a have a thing for woobies (characters so cute you want to hug),why don't you try,I don't know, ANYTHING BUT A GODDAM POKEMON ???!!?!?!¿¿¡

"The mere idea that you can breed Pokemon ever since Gold and Silver, especially most of everything with a Ditto. And that's not going into female looking Pokemon like Gardevoir..."

The mere idea of (esentially) animals breeding turns you on? Man,good thing you aren't a farmer.

"This troper read a fanfic that delves into this particular thing [about Gardevoir] , involving a trainer and his Gardevoir falling in love and having to save the world from Giovanni and a demon-man from destroying the world. It's actually pretty good, but as always, Your Mileage May Vary."

May Vary? More like Will Vary! That's not me talking, the replies to this were unanymous in that fanfic  being horrible and rather graphic.They say it's called "Sinners" so if you want to throw up for some reason you can read it.

During a disgustingly long portion of the article the Fuelers (new nickname) drool over Gardevoir,Lucario and Loppuny and how hot they are. Then they start talking about "masculine good-looking" Pokemon like Machamps.Finally they start looking for phallic imagery in Pokemon shapes ( Palkia and Combusken) and vagina-looking Pokemon (Cloyster and...Cradily??) Why Cradily? Here's an image from it: 

Does this looks like a vagina or a penis to you? In fact, does this look like anything to you? (Image from LegendaryPokemon.net)

"Why hasn't Metapod been mentioned? What about the whole "My Metapod is harder than yours" battle?. I'm sure someone has a fetish for having their "Metapod" being squeezed by a Pinsir"

I'm pretty sure no one wants to have his cock being squeezed by a giant bug with spikes in its horns. It seems rather painful. Besides,you would end up in Offended.(DON'T LOOK AT IT FOR GOD'S SAKE)

Oh shit, I'm getting sick of reading this. I'm halfway through the article,so expect a second part of this.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

SpongeBob SquarePants. Moar Like FetishPants Amirite?

This page isn't nearly as big as the SSB one,so I'll put all the entries in this one.(Except the replys). It's a really short page,and that is definitily for the good.Let's start.


"The episode Squirrel Jokes had a scene where Spongebob is inflated by Sandy filling him up with water."

I saw that episode. Spongebob ends up being the same size as Sandy's house. Sandy used that to torture him because he was making fun of her.Why am I making a summary of the episode? Because I prefer to talk about anything but inflation fetishes.

"In Overbooked, Sandy gets a Panty Shot."


I haven't seen that particular episode,but...really? When Sandy is in her house,she spents all the time in bikini,so that shouldn't surprise. Anyway, this was very probably written by a furry,since those people are the only ones who get turned on by a cartoon squirrel. Since there are so many of them in Tv Tropes,I'll just talk about the most disturbing cases.

"This troper finds the scene in the episode Ghost Host where Spongebob turns into an octopus oddly.... appealing, to say the least."

I guess this one is a case of a transformation fetish. This is a common fetish in Tv Tropes,and you will find it in every page where it can fit.But this case is particularly strange,since it's a sponge turning into a octopus. It's like "Oh man,the only way Spongebob could be more attractive is transforming into an octopus".Ugh

"One episode had Spongebob nude."

 I guess this person has a boner every time he washes the dishes.

"There is a furless scene of Sandy"
I'm confused.Does this mean that for furries the equivalent of being nude is this? Well, I won't look it in Google,I have enough reading about it.

"Two Words: Maid Spongebob."

Two Words: You pervert.

"Whenever Sandy flexes, especially in Karate Island."
Man,is Sandy the Ms Fanservice of the show or what? No love for Pearl or Mr Krabs mom? Those furries have no love for sea creatures.

"Of course, there must be some fans who watch this show purely for the ridiculous amount of Ho Yay."

Yeah, the Slashfic writers and Yaoi Fangirls.I wouldn't call them fans,I would call them worse things.

"Recent episodes have a lot of Foot Focus"

Foot fetishism is one of the most common and accepted fetishism in real life,and no person with an open mind will call you on it if you have one.Until you mention SpongeBob.Then they will  call the police.

"This troper likes Spongebob's burglar costume from the episode "Gift of Gum". It looks so cute on him!"
And that finishes it. For being a series with only two human characters it sure has a long article. With no mention of those human characters. Wait...*reads the article again* No mention of Squidward and his tentacles? Damn,Tropers,you dissapoint me.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Super Smash Bros AKA Fetish Fuel Official Fapping Game

Ah,Super Smash Bros,the game that made people realise that a plumber kicking a yellow rat's ass can work even if you are not on drugs.Everybody loves this game,but some people love it in a very disturbing way.
This one here is one of the most mind-jarring entries in all Fetish Fuel,and thus perfect material for this blog.

Before I start, I'll say that this blog will talk only about very weird fetishes,like the ones that can't be satisfied in real life.It will also mention appearances of Lolicon and Shotacon,since there are too many mentions of it in FF.

Lets start with this.

"Toon Link. I mean he's just... Eee! He's just so cute, and his little "Hyas" are all... All... EEEEE! :Glomp:"

 This is the very first  phrase of the article,and there's already and instance of shotacon.Yay! I don't need to tell you why is that wrong. Oh,and don't go saying "But maybe (s)he only likes the character".Bullshit.There's an article called "Gushing About Characters You Like" for that.

"This troper went through every single one of Peach's animations and took pictures of every one that allows a Panty Shot. The best ones are her down throw, her neutral L-cancel, and a couple spots in her Final Smash animation."

Ok,this is reaching stalker levels.And is more pathetic since is a fictional character.You have an amazing  determination,though.

"Kirby in his original incarnation probably inspired quite a few voreaphiles."

 Ladies and Gentlemen,the blog namer! Ah,voreaphiles...that people who get turned on by the idea of being eated or digested. How can that work? I want to see that people having sex.On second thought,does that people even have sex,or they just reject everyone they meet when they refuse to being eaten?.So many questions...

"Jigglypuff's final smash makes her inflate... and inflate... and inflate... until she covers practically the whole screen. The appeal of the move to inflation fetishists needs no explanation. "

I left this entire conversation because I thought that everything here is worthy to rant about. First,inflation fetishists.I guess this is the only people who prefer blown-up dolls over real women.Then continues with this:
  • "If only Jigglypuff were a sexy woman...
  • She isn't? " 
Sorry to burst your bubble (pun intended),but not.You see,Jiglypuff is a Pokemon.There is no way she can be a woman because women aren't Pokemon.It might seem hard to understand,but it isn't.Women are human beings.Pokemon are fictional creatures.There is zero possibility that a woman will ever be a Pokemon.Therefore,your statement has zero logic.Besides,she is not that sexy.

"My father and I make a continued practice of diving into the Sound Test and playing through all of Ike, Captain Falcon and Zero Suit Samus's voice clips to make suggestive noises. I love my dad."

I wish I had a dad as cool as yours.I only make normal things with mine.

"Diddy Kong's Monkey Flip move has the little monkey leaping at an opponent's face and hugging/attacking it. Diddy doesn't wear pants...."

...and is a monkey. Seriously,the idea of a monkey grabbing my face is everything but fetish fuel.

"While only a theoretical idea, if HAL ever included the P-Balloon in a Smash game, this troper would have trouble containing himself whenever any human female characters were present and items were turned on. Not much sexy about an Italian plumber blowing up like a balloon, but Zero Suit Samus, Peach, or Zelda might just be too much."

Of course! Who wants a normal proportioned woman? I want my bitches inflated!

"One this this troper loves to do in both Melee and Brawl is play on Super Sudden Death mode and just...hear everyone scream as they turn into a shooting star. Being the Shotacon she is, she often did this with the younger Link, with Ness, Popo, Lucas, Pit, and even Kirby."

Children beating each other...screaming as they are sent to the sky... suffering.Congratulations,you made shotacon even more squicky! I left the hyperlink to her user page so you can know her name and avoid her in the street in case you are under 18.

"Luigi's Final Smash. Just... his Final Smash. Everything about it, from the simply erotic way he danced to the soothing chanting to the greenish bubble that covers him and everyone around him, just makes me want to... well, you know."

This one is more funny that disgusting.I just find amusing that someone is turned on by Luigi dancing.Anyway,if you're a girl I wouldn't be very excited if I were you.Have you see him dancing? Is very obvious he is...well you know. And then there's Hotel Mario,Gay Luigi?

"Yoshi's neutral B move. Watch it in slow motion. Probably the most gratuitously vorarephile-appealing thing in video game history"

Oh yeah, gratuitously appealing. I can easily picture Masahiro Sakurai designing Yoshi's movements and thinking: "Hmm, I'll make him eat his rivals so I can please vore, big bellies, oviposition fetishists".Seriously,stop thinking everyone has your weird fetishes. Nobody,and I mean NOBODY I consider a sane person is into dinosaurs laying eggs.And now,I was saving the best for last:

"To say NOTHING of King Dedede, in ANY of his incarnations, for this troper. C'mon, people: giant inflatable penguin who apparently has an ARMY of servants to wait on him hand and foot and a tendency to swallow his rival whole, who typically ends up mind-controlled by an amorphous Cosmic Horror. That is every single fetish I have smashed into one squooshy, blue, semi-spherical package. "


 I'm speechless.I'll leave this one to you.

Start of the Blog

Tv Tropes is awesome.It makes you laugh,it makes you cry (check out its Tearjerker pages) and it makes you enjoy more of fiction as a whole.I discovered lots of good shows thanks to this site.

But it has to be something bad about it,right?

Well,yes,it is. Apart from the minor flaws you can find in every wiki ,there is one which is not minor at all.
In fact I think it's the Trope with more number of subpages in the whole site (I'm not sure)

As you may have guessed from the title of this blog,I'm talking about Fetish Fuel.

This blog is dedicated to explore over the various pages of Fetish Fuel and display the ones that I think are more mind-screwing.It's gonna be hard reading the sexual thoughts of Yaoi Fangirls and Fan Fic writers,but someone has to do it,right?(Actually no, I'm just bored)

Let's get this started,shall we?