Sunday, August 29, 2010

Harry Potter and the Leather Pants of Doom

Today we are looking at the Harry Potter article. You know, for a series that has spawned such a large number of Slash Fics the article about it in Fetish Fuel is not as bad as you would imagine. But don't worry , we'll find something.

"I'm sure Bellatrix Lestrange from Harry Potter was intended to send chills down the spines of twelve-year-old fangirls. Just not in that way! (She could probably deal out some GREAT discipline...and imagine being Voldemort, rewarding her for a successful mission...Mmmm.) As it happens, said fangirl realized she liked girls as a direct result of her obsessive love for dear Bella. So it goes."

Well, if you're talking about the Bellatrix of the movies, I can understand. She's played by Helena Bonham Carter,after all. Now, if you are talking about the Bellatrix from the books...*shudders*  Sorry, but she is just scary! She killed Sirius! Poor guy *cries manly tears*

"Yes, we know he's not supposed to be sexy... but Snape's insistence on being called "Sir" still sends this troper's mind places that probably don't need to be expounded upon."

That was nice from you to no expound that. No, really.

"The very fact that a sweet, kind, reserved man like Remus Lupin has his... wolfish tendencies he must keep at bay... er, yeah, see the Twilight entry above. His "wolfish" nature is of course quite popular in fanfic."

I guess the Twilight entry (s)he is refering to was there before Harry Potter got its own page and it was placed in the Literature page. Anyway if I remember well the wolf Lupin transforms into in the books is described to look a lot like a regular wolf, so yeah. Oh, the werewolf from the movies? Sorry, I'm trying to delete the third movie from my mind.

"Sirius Black. Tom Riddle. Severus Snape."

Umm... Would you care to explain why? You are going against the Wiki rules, ma 'am!

"Harry Potter. When he is mad. Really, really mad."

Ugh... Sorry, it's OK you like it, it's only that I hated those parts of the books. Seriously, when did Harry Potter turn into a whiny brat that spents a third of the book talking in all-caps? He looks like a Youtube commenter.

"This troper just read a post on a forum that pointed out Dudley's only non-Harry contact with wizards gave him A: a pig's tail, and B: a large tongue. Upon reading that, this troper paused, then immediately opened the edit page for TV Tropes' Fetish Fuel:Literature."

I can see why would you want someone with a large tongue, but a pig's tail?  Even if you are a furry that's not exciting. It's a human with a pig's tail!

"The Death Eaters and the Ministry under Voldemort's control have strong Nazi overtones to them. These often achieve the desired result, but sometimes... they achieve something else. (Also, Gellert Grindelwald. Handsome blond gay Nazi, basically, and the whole covert poisonous friendship thing really, really pushes this troper's buttons. Damn it.)"

You know who also liked nazis? HITLER!! And you know who also made predictable jokes? TIM BUCKLEY!!

"The scene in Deathly Hallows, where Draco's Mom whispered in Harry's ear while feeling his chest, is the only time this troper has felt something move in his pants..."

Dude, she is asking him about the fate of her son. It's one of the most emotionally intense parts of the book and it gave you a boner? I pity you.

"In Goblet of Fire when Draco gets turned into a ferret against his will."

This is like the "SpongeBob turning into an octopus"  scene. Listen, I can understand transformation fetishes, but seriously, this is a 14-year-old boy turning into a ferret! How can be someone be turned on by that? Apparently I'm a self-righteous douche for not understanding it. Well , thats just wrong and *cough* GOD HATES FAGS *cough*. Oh man,this coughs. I need some Juanolas.

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