Sunday, September 26, 2010

You think that's bad? Remember the Family Guy article?

Yep,I am alive. I have been busy with school and other IRL shit, so I think you people will understand that I'm slowing down the frequency of the posts.
Anyway, today we are looking at the Family Guy article. Before I even start, I have to say that I don't understand people being turned on by anything that Seth McFarlane draws. The characters are so B^U that I find it impossible even when they rely in very obvious Fan Service.

Well,let's see this. This will be a short one.

"And it's entirely possible that Peter has a cuckold fetish, as he was seriously juiced to find out Lois used to be a KISS groupie, and Brian has hinted that Lois hasn't even been faithful in marriage. "

You say cuckold fetish, I say blind stupidness. That's the joke,Peter is such an idiot that he doesn't realize that Lois cheating on him is something bad.

"Family Guy also had Chris' hot teacher Mrs. Lockhart, who stored everything in her big, bouncy cleavage. I've never wanted to be a piece of chalk, a sword, or an entire classroom's worth of test papers so badly in my life. "

AND SHE MARRIES TO A BEAR. OmG this furry troper almost dies when (s)he watched it the first time because... I can't do it, I can't go on like this,I tried writing like someone who writes in FF and I just can't. I have zero talent. *sob*

"This troper is fairly certain someone has the hots for Joe. A well-built, good looking man in a wheelchair. And the fact that he can't have sex undoubtedly sets off a few eunuch fetishists. "

Eunuch fetishists? Why? How can someone be excited by an eunuch? What do you think you can do with an eunuch? Look at him while he doesn't have sex to you? Wow, that sounds sexy.

"Brian, a dog, gets with human women."

And that is quite cool,because, you know, hi stiffs his little dog pink thingy in a woman's vagina. And he probably makes those funny movements dogs make when they are humping each other. Well, time to eat lunch.

"In the "Really starting to wonder about Seth McFarlane..." files, they seem to show women on the toilet an awful lot. "

IS POTTY HUMOUR. That's it. Seth McFarlane thinks poop = hilarious. His only fetish is making gallons of money thanks to fart jokes.

"Meg, definitely. Canon may try to make her seem as hideous as possible, but they didn't take a few things into account: Glasses, Yandere tendencies, chubby chasers. Hell, just check the Family Guy folder at Next to Lois, Meg is the most commonly drawn female character. "

Ah,Family Guy porn. That thing that is so,so,so,so,so badly drawn. No one should masturbate to this. Is like paying for an account in

"This troper thinks she's hot too! Glasses, a little chubby, Deadpan Snarker look in her face, loser status, and having a nerd always stalking her. She has three geeky loser friends who also wear glasses! "

Deadpan Snarker? That's the usual McFarlane expression. Everybody has it in these cartoons. B^U.

"Stewie and, most of, his girlfriends. Bonus points for the Foe Yay with his half-brother and his odd friendship with Brian."

And this is the kind of people who looks at babyfur,if you ever wondered.

Since this is short, I'll like to share with you the results of an investigation I've been doing during this summer. I've come to the conclusion that Chris Bores, Tim Buckley and Seth McFarlane are the same person. Here are some evidences.

  •   The three of them are famous thanks to copying a popular concept.
  •   Their works are a case of  Love It or Hate It
  •   They have a similar sense of humor consisting in random jokes not always relating to the story and the use of violence as a punchline
  •   Their characters are rather inexpressive.
  •   Their attempts to drama or seriousness have been poorly received.
  •   They are fat.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Looney Tunes. Childhood ruined in 3...2...1....

Who would have thought that the classic Looney Tunes cartoons could be Fetish Fuel for someone? Well, they are, and I think we should respect everyone no matter their sexual tendences.



Nah, I'm just screwing with you.

"The sheer number of times that Bugs Bunny crossdresses boggles the mind. Probably the most famous example is in "What's Opera, Doc?""

Oh, and don't forget kissing another man. Because that's obviously treated as Fetish Fuel, and not as a comic relief.

"In one cartoon, Bugs marries Elmer Fudd in a Dream Sequence. With Fudd wearing the wedding dress."

It seems they didn't forget it.Good. Now seriously, it's amazing how people can find sexual excitement in situations that are played for laughs in children's cartoons. I understand people being furries, but c'mon, this is freaking Looney Tunes! It's like someone being excited by Olive Oyl. Is just wrong.

"Not one mention of Lola Bunny? Really? For shame..."

Hey Nostalgia Critic what do you have to say? :
"We don't wanna fuck bunnies! ...I can't believe I have to say this, we don't wanna fuck bunnies! I mean we're people! Therefore we like to fuck other people! I'm sure there's some SMALL percentage of people out there that like to fuck bunnies, but that hardly seems like a very profitable demographic. I mean, I put it to you: Have you ever seen a bunny that you ACTUALLY had the hots for?"
Poor innocent little guy, he didn't know of furries by that time.

"In "Banty Raids", Foghorn Leghorn is bound and beak-tied and forcibly dressed in drag by a machine, then married to a horny bantam rooster. "

Ok, the bound fetish is pretty common in real life, so I guess it's fine. The problem here once again is there are Looney Tunes cartoons. I think there are better places to please your bound fetish than Looney Tunes.

"Penelope Pussycat, the cat from the Pepe LePew shorts, especially when she gets a voice. Everything Sounds Sexier In French, indeed."

This is like the Lola Bunny thing, so I won't repeat myself in that. The response to that, however...

"By the way, what was the deal with Pepe? He's an attempted rapist for crying out loud."

Whoah,whoah,whoah and I thought I had a dirty mind. You know, there's platonic love and then there's rape. I don't remember Pepe le Pew putting sleeping pills in Penelope's drink anyway.

"This troper has sometimes had rather evil daydreams of Wile E. Coyote finally catching the Road Runner and eating him. What? That's what he wants to do!"

Oh my god an animal eating another animal? That is so exciting for some reason. Well, at least this person can say he has his collection of nature documentaries with educational purposes.

Friday, September 3, 2010

Weird Fetishes sell. ( Advertising )

You wouldn't expect something so harmless-looking like the "Advertising" article to be material for this blog. Well, yes it is. Sorry, I can't come with anything witty to write here.

"A German ad for Tampax brand tampons involves a woman, naked except for white panties and goggles, being sprayed with red liquid. The camera zooms in on her torso, then her face being covered with the red liquid, then zooms back out to display her still pristine white panties, despite being otherwise completely covered in the "blood"."

Watching "The Shining" with this person must be really weird. You know, for the erections and all that.

"There was a European commercial for fruit and vegetables that had them popping and dripping all over women's faces."

 That commercial was a parody of the concept "Sex Sells". Well, this person obviously didn't get the joke.

"The Orangina advertisements. It's like the ad crew, when asked to create an animal mascot group that would appeal to adults, went online and downloaded as much Furry porn as they could, for reference. Words cannot do it justice."

Oh my God, the furries have gained access to the publicity bussiness! They are gaining power, I told you! Soon, the whole planet will be theirs and no one will be safe! It's time to panic!!!! Seriously though, I have to agree that that commercial is so obviously furry appealing that I can't really criticize that Troper for putting it in.

"There was a commercial for Hardee's in which people are "measuring" how big their mouths are - by stuffing their fists, or a huge stack of straws. An article for Slate even comment on how they managed to get this one in general hours."

I bet the Goatse guy used the same methods seen in that commercial. There, if you ever found that commercial sexually appealing I ruined it forever. I'm a bastard like that.

"Subservient Chicken, anyone?"

No, non, nein, не, Não, Nu, Ej, δεν, Yok, ううん,  نو... well, I think you get it.
 Ok, one more

"The infamous Carls Jr. commercials with Paris Hilton in a skimpy black outfit washing a car is considered hot by a certain section of the populace."

I can understand furry. I can understand Shota and Loli. I can understand inflation, bestialism, vorephilia. I can even understand that someone feels sexually aroused by "2 girls 1 cup". But Paris Hilton ? You are seriously messed up.

"The new M&M's Premiums commercials with the green M&M dancing around and licking chocolate off her fingers suggestively all while being showered with little M&M's like flower petals. Hotness!!"

-The guy with no name that shows up for no reason in " The Room" to make out with his girlfriend says : "Chocolate is a symbol of love".

"The new Old Navy ads featuring talking mannequins can be somewhat appealing if you have an inanimate TF fetish...Or So I Heard."

You know, it's called Uncanny Valley for a reason.

" This Capri Sun spot, which has a young Asian girl's hands and feet turned into whoopee cushions. Some kind of weird crossover between bondage, Lolicon, and inflation. And why the lingering shots of her feet? "

You know, when it features live actions humans is not really Lolicon. Just saying that.

"This German anti sexual abuse ad manages to mix Fetish Fuel, Squick, Misaimed Fandom, Naughty Tentacles, Poes Law, Uncanny Valley, Star Fish Alien, Nightmare Fuel, Mars Needs Women, Does This Remind You Of Anything, Freud Was Right, and Puppeteer Parasite all in one ad. And notice that she never actually attacks it or even attepts to stop it, Her worst reaction is in middle age, when she's like "Awe, I'm about to get raped again. Oh well."

I tried to watch that and I couldn't make it to the half, so I'll let the Tropers respond for me :

  • This troper (who, admittedly, has had close brushes with sexual abuse in the past) found the ad intensely creepy. If you aren't into tentacle rape, the whole sinuous snake thing textured like human flesh is Nausea Fuel right off the bat. Since childhood, the woman in the ad is just resigned to having this thing draped all over her. It's not the sexual abuse that continues, but the scars it leaves. Hell, this troper is into tentacle porn and it made her want to gag.
  • Well, I think that indicates how unsuccessful the ad is; when the only people who are creeped out are the ones who've been through it, I think it's safe to say you've screwed up.
  • When your reaction to this ad is "o hai, Fetish Fuel", I think it's safe to say, YOU're messed up.
Thanks. I couldn't say it better. Mainly because I suck at English.