Saturday, November 20, 2010

Troper Tales 2: Electric Self-Insert

Yay more Troper Tales! Sorry about the lack of updates, but I have 3 legitimate reasons to not update:

-School and stuff.

-The Tv Tropes forums are really addictive.

-I'm a lazy ass.

Now that you have a COMPLETELY SATISFACTORY EXPLANATION let's read some more Troper Tales, okay?

From Noble Bigot :

"I'm none too fond of the LGBT (or "Irregulars" as I like to call them) and I particulary dislike trannies, but I think I'm a pretty decent guy regardless."

Hey, of course you are! Everybody at Aryan Nations loves your cookies!

From Disproportionate Retribution :

"This troper was born male, and was sentenced a year's full-time community service for the "crime".

DURRR Wimmin are evil!!! Where does this guy live? In Bizarro World's Sudan?

From Gratuitous Japanese :

"This troper likes to use the word "kawaii" in its context, since there isn't a readily apparent English equivalent."

It's really cute that you do that. I personally find people who do that adorable, because Japanese language is really sweet and charming. Lovable!

From Yandere (Adjust seatbelts now) :

"This troper treated her best friend as the center of her universe and loved her more than anything. That 'best friend' eventually stopped caring about her, stopped being friends with her, and got in a sexual relationship with a guy this troper strongly disliked. The only thing that was stopping me from showing up at his house with a knife was that they both live somewhat far away (though constant hate messages and the sort were sent.) However, I still haven't stopped having fantasies about covering my ex-best friend with her boyfriend's blood and guts."

And thus Chris-Chan found his significant other in This Troper, being happy together and covering people in guts forever and ever.

"I went out with a long-time pal of mine for two months or so. Then I broke up with him. Then, he decided to go out with an exchange student. Only a week later, said exchange student died of some unknown disease... Teehee! "

Maybe it was the AIDS you infected him with LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.

From Kids Are Cruel :

"Some kid "borrowed" This Troper's VHS tape of Casper then conviently moved away. Then there is time some girl called out while he was riding his bike causing him to crash into a parked car. He lost a front tooth! "

I'll tell you what to do.

Find him. Facebook can be very useful. He'll have some photos there. Now you have to look at the background on this photos to trace his home. Google Earth can also be useful.

Now that you know where he lives, go to his house.It doesn't matter the distance when a VHS tape is involved. Ring at his door and wait until he opens. That's where you hit him with the pipe. Now tie him in the basement.

If he has any wife or children, you know what to do. Rape her and, if you are particularly bitter that day rape the children as well. Just don't rape the pets, that would be gross.

And now, some cool blooded torture, you know, bamboo canes between the nails, electrodes in the testicles, the regular stuff. Don't leave any of them alive, of course.

Oh, and don't forget your Casper VHS tape!

From "Tranquil Fury" :

"I was enjoying a beer, when some guy accidentally spilled his cola drink on my white skirt, which was new. I got up, touched his shoulder, and when he turned around I broke his arm. Then I just sat back down and finished my drink. "

Well, this is either a really violent woman or a really average Scottish.

I'm deeply sorry about that joke.