Sunday, August 29, 2010

Harry Potter and the Leather Pants of Doom

Today we are looking at the Harry Potter article. You know, for a series that has spawned such a large number of Slash Fics the article about it in Fetish Fuel is not as bad as you would imagine. But don't worry , we'll find something.

"I'm sure Bellatrix Lestrange from Harry Potter was intended to send chills down the spines of twelve-year-old fangirls. Just not in that way! (She could probably deal out some GREAT discipline...and imagine being Voldemort, rewarding her for a successful mission...Mmmm.) As it happens, said fangirl realized she liked girls as a direct result of her obsessive love for dear Bella. So it goes."

Well, if you're talking about the Bellatrix of the movies, I can understand. She's played by Helena Bonham Carter,after all. Now, if you are talking about the Bellatrix from the books...*shudders*  Sorry, but she is just scary! She killed Sirius! Poor guy *cries manly tears*

"Yes, we know he's not supposed to be sexy... but Snape's insistence on being called "Sir" still sends this troper's mind places that probably don't need to be expounded upon."

That was nice from you to no expound that. No, really.

"The very fact that a sweet, kind, reserved man like Remus Lupin has his... wolfish tendencies he must keep at bay... er, yeah, see the Twilight entry above. His "wolfish" nature is of course quite popular in fanfic."

I guess the Twilight entry (s)he is refering to was there before Harry Potter got its own page and it was placed in the Literature page. Anyway if I remember well the wolf Lupin transforms into in the books is described to look a lot like a regular wolf, so yeah. Oh, the werewolf from the movies? Sorry, I'm trying to delete the third movie from my mind.

"Sirius Black. Tom Riddle. Severus Snape."

Umm... Would you care to explain why? You are going against the Wiki rules, ma 'am!

"Harry Potter. When he is mad. Really, really mad."

Ugh... Sorry, it's OK you like it, it's only that I hated those parts of the books. Seriously, when did Harry Potter turn into a whiny brat that spents a third of the book talking in all-caps? He looks like a Youtube commenter.

"This troper just read a post on a forum that pointed out Dudley's only non-Harry contact with wizards gave him A: a pig's tail, and B: a large tongue. Upon reading that, this troper paused, then immediately opened the edit page for TV Tropes' Fetish Fuel:Literature."

I can see why would you want someone with a large tongue, but a pig's tail?  Even if you are a furry that's not exciting. It's a human with a pig's tail!

"The Death Eaters and the Ministry under Voldemort's control have strong Nazi overtones to them. These often achieve the desired result, but sometimes... they achieve something else. (Also, Gellert Grindelwald. Handsome blond gay Nazi, basically, and the whole covert poisonous friendship thing really, really pushes this troper's buttons. Damn it.)"

You know who also liked nazis? HITLER!! And you know who also made predictable jokes? TIM BUCKLEY!!

"The scene in Deathly Hallows, where Draco's Mom whispered in Harry's ear while feeling his chest, is the only time this troper has felt something move in his pants..."

Dude, she is asking him about the fate of her son. It's one of the most emotionally intense parts of the book and it gave you a boner? I pity you.

"In Goblet of Fire when Draco gets turned into a ferret against his will."

This is like the "SpongeBob turning into an octopus"  scene. Listen, I can understand transformation fetishes, but seriously, this is a 14-year-old boy turning into a ferret! How can be someone be turned on by that? Apparently I'm a self-righteous douche for not understanding it. Well , thats just wrong and *cough* GOD HATES FAGS *cough*. Oh man,this coughs. I need some Juanolas.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Code Lyoko. Pedobear would be proud

I'm not sure if you guys now a lot about Code Lyoko,since is a more obscure show that Pokemon or SpongeBob Squarepants,so I'll make a little summary of it before I start with the post.

Code Lyoko is a French animation series that follows the adventures of four kids that discover a supercomputer in the basement of an abandoned factory. This computer allows them to enter in the world of Lyoko,where the evil IA Xana is doing mischiefs that often materialize in the real world. They have to stop Xana with the help of the good IA Aelita and the ability of the computer to return 24 hours in the real world.

Here's a picture of the main characters

From left to right: Jeremy, Ulrich, Yumi, and Odd. Yeah,that's supposed to be a dog

Now that you know,let's start with this.

"The Schyphozoa and his bit "possessing Aelita" or "stealing her memories". And the tree roots in "Sabotage" molesting Yumi..."

Tentacle rape. Did I mention that they are 11 years old? And this is Fetish Fuel? Meaning that the person who wrote this probably masturbates thinking about it? Well,this is a bit tricky,since Aelita is an IA,so she is not really 11 years old , only looks like one,but still...Ugh.

"In "Attack of the Zombies", 11-year-old Milly is attacked in the shower by her zombified friend Tamiya, and spends the rest of the episode in a bathrobe. Could be as much Nightmare Fuel as Fetish Fuel, though"

"Could be?" 11-year-old girls attacked by zombies! In the shower! There are like 3 different fetishes there! I don't find the situation that scary,though. Unless you are talking about the concept of people being turned on by this. Then yeah, it's scary.

"In "Routine", as if the almost-kiss wasn't enough, at one point early in the episode, when Ulrich and one-off character Émilie are walking down a hallway towards each other, both in bathrobes, Émilie's bathrobe is oh-so-casually sliding off her shoulder, though she puts it back up after they cross paths. Did we mention this is right after Ulrich's shower scene? Children's sci-fi adventure show indeed."

 Oh my God, two kids in bathrobes?? AFTER SHOWERING?? And the girl's freaking shoulder is shown??? I must fap furiously!!!!! This show is obviously not for children. It's for adults. Pedophiles,but adults still.

"Why, why, why did Yumi only wore her party clothes in the first episode and never thereafter? Detached Sleeves + Bare Your Midriff + Minidress of Power + Zettai Ryouiki = Hot Damn!"

 You forgot a term in the equation. Here you got: Detached Sleeves + Bare Your Midriff + Minidress of Power + Zettai Ryouiki + Eleven years = You pervert

"Is there a Big Head fetish out there?"

You don't know how bad I wish there isn't.

"There is indeed. In fact, it frequently (though not always) goes well with the glasses fetish, the genius fetish, and the technogeek fetish"

 Fuck you.

"Another little bit of Fridge Logic: during Season 1, in-between XANA's attacks, Aelita is shown "learning about the real world" with the interface of a tower. Now, this likely mean through the Internet... which would equate to lots of time spent on the Web — more than a year, in fact, and of full-time, since she has no need for sleep at this point. Now, when you consider the obvious..."

 Wow, you are overthinking too much. So a girl having Internet access is somehow you fetish because she can watch porn?  Yeah of course, who doesn't know 11-year-old girls that watch porn everyday? When you let a girl of that age access to Internet, she will probably watch Justin Bieber videos and make a blog about her cat. That's it.

"Ulrich and Odd share a room. Opportunities for Ho Yay, anyone?"

There's no way they can share the room because they are friends,of course. They must be closet gays. So acording to this Fueler standards, if you share a room with your sister is because you are into incest,right?

So that makes it. There are more things in the page,but I think we all have had enough with the pedos, right?

(Fun Fact: In Spanish,"pedo" means fart. Another reason to them to be even more pathetic)

Saturday, August 21, 2010

And now for something completely different....

I'm sure a lot of my readers (if not all of them) now about this blog thanks to Irate Gamer Sucks, a blog of which I'm an avid reader and commenter. A while ago a posted a comment wondering how could be the cutscenes of "The Irate Gamer Game" (that's right,they are making a game about him) I figured out they will end up being something like this:

-IG: (while looking Wikipedia) Gee,it sure it's boring around here.
-Wise Sage: MAH BOI,this fact-checking is what all true reviewers strive for!
-IG: I just wonder what James's up to.
-The Genie: Wise Sage,James and his minions have seized the island of Youtube.
-WS: Mmmm...How can we make money?
-Genie: It is written.Only Chris can copy James
-IG: Great!I'll write some jokes!
-Genie: There is no time.Your special effects are enough.
-IG: How about a kiss,for luck?
-Jennifer: You've GOT to be kidding.
-Genie: Bangalang! We're off!
-IG: Whoah! What are all those videos?
-Genie: These are the Reviews of James.You must copy each.
-IG: I guess I better be going.
-Genie: Here is Game Genie.Where do you wish to go?

 And now, exclusively for a blog that has nothing to do with Irate Gamer, the final cutscene of "The Irate Gamer Game"! :

-Youtube President: Join us Chris, and we will make yor videos the most viewed in Youtube!
-Irate Gamer: Cool! I'll join you.
-AVGN: NOOOOOO!! Not into Gametrailers!!! It SUUUUUUUCKSS!!!!
-The Genie: Well done,Chris! Mike Matei is once again pissed. Cum. Look,already Youtube is giving you money. The fanboys are singing, isn't it beautiful?
-Irate Gamer: Golly.
-The Genie: As it is written: You,Chris, are now a Youtube partner!
-Irate Gamer: I guess that's worth a kiss,huh?
- Jennifer: Hah!
-Irate Gamer: I won!

The next entry will be a normal one, I promise

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Pokemon Part Two : The Bestiality Kicks In!

Yeah,the second part. The article is full of Furries and Shota, so I'm not going to list them all. So this post is gonna be shorter than the first one.

"No one's mentioned MEWTWO? For this troper's he's the best thing about the anime series: Tragic origins, strangely humaniod and alien at the same time, very flawed and deep, and has touches of heartwarming roles like Overprotective Dad and Papa Wolf for his fellow clones. Not to mention when Dan Green's voicing him, and he's a Woobie-tastic badass psychic... Good Grief, he's practically the River Tam of the franchise! Not to This Troper's surprise, he's got fanarts with Lucario (Furries) and Gardevoir (Fangirls)..."

Hey, if you like cat-alien things I don't got anything against it. Wait. Yes,yes I do. But Metwo is nowhere near to a deep character. No one in Pokemon is.

"And then there's the significant amount of Power Perversion Potential one could get by combining a Poke Ball and Bill's faulty teleporter that turns people into Pokemon. Just make sure you have the right badges for high-level members of the opposite sex"

Why on the mother on fuck would you want to turn a human into a Pokemon in order to fuck him? It wouldn't be better to just have sex with human? Oh,and the badges so people don't try to resist when they are getting raped. I need to stop overthinking about Fetish Fuel articles.

"Latias. Cute, playful and sweet. Oh yeah, sight-sharing, and a telepath. Oh and a shapeshifter."

Cute, playful and sweet. Don't you just wanna fuck it after reading this?

"Reshiram was obviously intended as fetish fuel. I mean seriously, what could be the point of that "hair" sticking out between its legs?"

Hmmm * Goes check out picture of Reshiram * Oh SHIT how I'm gonna clean the puke of the computer now?

"Pokemon themselves are powerful creatures that are potentially as intelligent as humans (they can even communicate in various ways even if they can't talk), who often enter into what appears to be a subservient relationship of their own free will, And, as mentioned above, they don't find little things like Genus or Species to be an effective deterrent to mating, and often develop deep attachments to humans. In other words, Bestiality with about 50% of what's abhorrent about it removed."

 Oh my god where do I start. 50%?  That means that 50% of what makes it abhorrent is still there. Like,you know, having sex with a FUCKING animal? And the worst thing is that the people below him don't call him a pervert or mock him. No,they fucking agree with him! One even says that removes EVERYTHING bad about bestiality. People,just a word: YOU WANT TO FUCK POKEMON. That's bad in every possible way. And don't even try to justify yourselves. All your silly arguments can be rebutted with the phrase I typed in caps above. Come on, go ahead. I'm ready to copy paste it

Friday, August 13, 2010

Pokemon. Gotta ..."catch" them all! (First Part)

The Pokemon article is less squicky that the SSB one.Of course,that's not saying much. It's Furry territory with some little sparkles of Shota refering to the human characters.Let's see:

"Gotta Catch Em All ... Then have Sex with them. This includes, but is not limited to Time, Space, Darkness, The Land, The Sea, The Sky, Various other elements, and all of creation and life itself!"

This sentence is very,very strange. There are some recurring fetishes in TV Tropes,but I've never seen one of this magnitude. A fetish for creation and life itself? This person wants to fuck literally everything. Everything.  

 "Also, Absol. A few pokemon are easy to consider as The Woobie. And if you're into that..."

What? Absol is not even anthropomorfic. It's four-legged, so It's not even furry-friendly, It's downright zoophiliac. And If you a have a thing for woobies (characters so cute you want to hug),why don't you try,I don't know, ANYTHING BUT A GODDAM POKEMON ???!!?!?!¿¿¡

"The mere idea that you can breed Pokemon ever since Gold and Silver, especially most of everything with a Ditto. And that's not going into female looking Pokemon like Gardevoir..."

The mere idea of (esentially) animals breeding turns you on? Man,good thing you aren't a farmer.

"This troper read a fanfic that delves into this particular thing [about Gardevoir] , involving a trainer and his Gardevoir falling in love and having to save the world from Giovanni and a demon-man from destroying the world. It's actually pretty good, but as always, Your Mileage May Vary."

May Vary? More like Will Vary! That's not me talking, the replies to this were unanymous in that fanfic  being horrible and rather graphic.They say it's called "Sinners" so if you want to throw up for some reason you can read it.

During a disgustingly long portion of the article the Fuelers (new nickname) drool over Gardevoir,Lucario and Loppuny and how hot they are. Then they start talking about "masculine good-looking" Pokemon like Machamps.Finally they start looking for phallic imagery in Pokemon shapes ( Palkia and Combusken) and vagina-looking Pokemon (Cloyster and...Cradily??) Why Cradily? Here's an image from it: 

Does this looks like a vagina or a penis to you? In fact, does this look like anything to you? (Image from

"Why hasn't Metapod been mentioned? What about the whole "My Metapod is harder than yours" battle?. I'm sure someone has a fetish for having their "Metapod" being squeezed by a Pinsir"

I'm pretty sure no one wants to have his cock being squeezed by a giant bug with spikes in its horns. It seems rather painful. Besides,you would end up in Offended.(DON'T LOOK AT IT FOR GOD'S SAKE)

Oh shit, I'm getting sick of reading this. I'm halfway through the article,so expect a second part of this.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

SpongeBob SquarePants. Moar Like FetishPants Amirite?

This page isn't nearly as big as the SSB one,so I'll put all the entries in this one.(Except the replys). It's a really short page,and that is definitily for the good.Let's start.

"The episode Squirrel Jokes had a scene where Spongebob is inflated by Sandy filling him up with water."

I saw that episode. Spongebob ends up being the same size as Sandy's house. Sandy used that to torture him because he was making fun of her.Why am I making a summary of the episode? Because I prefer to talk about anything but inflation fetishes.

"In Overbooked, Sandy gets a Panty Shot."

I haven't seen that particular episode,but...really? When Sandy is in her house,she spents all the time in bikini,so that shouldn't surprise. Anyway, this was very probably written by a furry,since those people are the only ones who get turned on by a cartoon squirrel. Since there are so many of them in Tv Tropes,I'll just talk about the most disturbing cases.

"This troper finds the scene in the episode Ghost Host where Spongebob turns into an octopus oddly.... appealing, to say the least."

I guess this one is a case of a transformation fetish. This is a common fetish in Tv Tropes,and you will find it in every page where it can fit.But this case is particularly strange,since it's a sponge turning into a octopus. It's like "Oh man,the only way Spongebob could be more attractive is transforming into an octopus".Ugh

"One episode had Spongebob nude."

 I guess this person has a boner every time he washes the dishes.

"There is a furless scene of Sandy"
I'm confused.Does this mean that for furries the equivalent of being nude is this? Well, I won't look it in Google,I have enough reading about it.

"Two Words: Maid Spongebob."

Two Words: You pervert.

"Whenever Sandy flexes, especially in Karate Island."
Man,is Sandy the Ms Fanservice of the show or what? No love for Pearl or Mr Krabs mom? Those furries have no love for sea creatures.

"Of course, there must be some fans who watch this show purely for the ridiculous amount of Ho Yay."

Yeah, the Slashfic writers and Yaoi Fangirls.I wouldn't call them fans,I would call them worse things.

"Recent episodes have a lot of Foot Focus"

Foot fetishism is one of the most common and accepted fetishism in real life,and no person with an open mind will call you on it if you have one.Until you mention SpongeBob.Then they will  call the police.

"This troper likes Spongebob's burglar costume from the episode "Gift of Gum". It looks so cute on him!"
And that finishes it. For being a series with only two human characters it sure has a long article. With no mention of those human characters. Wait...*reads the article again* No mention of Squidward and his tentacles? Damn,Tropers,you dissapoint me.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Super Smash Bros AKA Fetish Fuel Official Fapping Game

Ah,Super Smash Bros,the game that made people realise that a plumber kicking a yellow rat's ass can work even if you are not on drugs.Everybody loves this game,but some people love it in a very disturbing way.
This one here is one of the most mind-jarring entries in all Fetish Fuel,and thus perfect material for this blog.

Before I start, I'll say that this blog will talk only about very weird fetishes,like the ones that can't be satisfied in real life.It will also mention appearances of Lolicon and Shotacon,since there are too many mentions of it in FF.

Lets start with this.

"Toon Link. I mean he's just... Eee! He's just so cute, and his little "Hyas" are all... All... EEEEE! :Glomp:"

 This is the very first  phrase of the article,and there's already and instance of shotacon.Yay! I don't need to tell you why is that wrong. Oh,and don't go saying "But maybe (s)he only likes the character".Bullshit.There's an article called "Gushing About Characters You Like" for that.

"This troper went through every single one of Peach's animations and took pictures of every one that allows a Panty Shot. The best ones are her down throw, her neutral L-cancel, and a couple spots in her Final Smash animation."

Ok,this is reaching stalker levels.And is more pathetic since is a fictional character.You have an amazing  determination,though.

"Kirby in his original incarnation probably inspired quite a few voreaphiles."

 Ladies and Gentlemen,the blog namer! Ah,voreaphiles...that people who get turned on by the idea of being eated or digested. How can that work? I want to see that people having sex.On second thought,does that people even have sex,or they just reject everyone they meet when they refuse to being eaten?.So many questions...

"Jigglypuff's final smash makes her inflate... and inflate... and inflate... until she covers practically the whole screen. The appeal of the move to inflation fetishists needs no explanation. "

I left this entire conversation because I thought that everything here is worthy to rant about. First,inflation fetishists.I guess this is the only people who prefer blown-up dolls over real women.Then continues with this:
  • "If only Jigglypuff were a sexy woman...
  • She isn't? " 
Sorry to burst your bubble (pun intended),but not.You see,Jiglypuff is a Pokemon.There is no way she can be a woman because women aren't Pokemon.It might seem hard to understand,but it isn't.Women are human beings.Pokemon are fictional creatures.There is zero possibility that a woman will ever be a Pokemon.Therefore,your statement has zero logic.Besides,she is not that sexy.

"My father and I make a continued practice of diving into the Sound Test and playing through all of Ike, Captain Falcon and Zero Suit Samus's voice clips to make suggestive noises. I love my dad."

I wish I had a dad as cool as yours.I only make normal things with mine.

"Diddy Kong's Monkey Flip move has the little monkey leaping at an opponent's face and hugging/attacking it. Diddy doesn't wear pants...."

...and is a monkey. Seriously,the idea of a monkey grabbing my face is everything but fetish fuel.

"While only a theoretical idea, if HAL ever included the P-Balloon in a Smash game, this troper would have trouble containing himself whenever any human female characters were present and items were turned on. Not much sexy about an Italian plumber blowing up like a balloon, but Zero Suit Samus, Peach, or Zelda might just be too much."

Of course! Who wants a normal proportioned woman? I want my bitches inflated!

"One this this troper loves to do in both Melee and Brawl is play on Super Sudden Death mode and just...hear everyone scream as they turn into a shooting star. Being the Shotacon she is, she often did this with the younger Link, with Ness, Popo, Lucas, Pit, and even Kirby."

Children beating each other...screaming as they are sent to the sky... suffering.Congratulations,you made shotacon even more squicky! I left the hyperlink to her user page so you can know her name and avoid her in the street in case you are under 18.

"Luigi's Final Smash. Just... his Final Smash. Everything about it, from the simply erotic way he danced to the soothing chanting to the greenish bubble that covers him and everyone around him, just makes me want to... well, you know."

This one is more funny that disgusting.I just find amusing that someone is turned on by Luigi dancing.Anyway,if you're a girl I wouldn't be very excited if I were you.Have you see him dancing? Is very obvious he is...well you know. And then there's Hotel Mario,Gay Luigi?

"Yoshi's neutral B move. Watch it in slow motion. Probably the most gratuitously vorarephile-appealing thing in video game history"

Oh yeah, gratuitously appealing. I can easily picture Masahiro Sakurai designing Yoshi's movements and thinking: "Hmm, I'll make him eat his rivals so I can please vore, big bellies, oviposition fetishists".Seriously,stop thinking everyone has your weird fetishes. Nobody,and I mean NOBODY I consider a sane person is into dinosaurs laying eggs.And now,I was saving the best for last:

"To say NOTHING of King Dedede, in ANY of his incarnations, for this troper. C'mon, people: giant inflatable penguin who apparently has an ARMY of servants to wait on him hand and foot and a tendency to swallow his rival whole, who typically ends up mind-controlled by an amorphous Cosmic Horror. That is every single fetish I have smashed into one squooshy, blue, semi-spherical package. "

 I'm speechless.I'll leave this one to you.

Start of the Blog

Tv Tropes is awesome.It makes you laugh,it makes you cry (check out its Tearjerker pages) and it makes you enjoy more of fiction as a whole.I discovered lots of good shows thanks to this site.

But it has to be something bad about it,right?

Well,yes,it is. Apart from the minor flaws you can find in every wiki ,there is one which is not minor at all.
In fact I think it's the Trope with more number of subpages in the whole site (I'm not sure)

As you may have guessed from the title of this blog,I'm talking about Fetish Fuel.

This blog is dedicated to explore over the various pages of Fetish Fuel and display the ones that I think are more mind-screwing.It's gonna be hard reading the sexual thoughts of Yaoi Fangirls and Fan Fic writers,but someone has to do it,right?(Actually no, I'm just bored)

Let's get this started,shall we?