Saturday, November 20, 2010

Troper Tales 2: Electric Self-Insert

Yay more Troper Tales! Sorry about the lack of updates, but I have 3 legitimate reasons to not update:

-School and stuff.

-The Tv Tropes forums are really addictive.

-I'm a lazy ass.

Now that you have a COMPLETELY SATISFACTORY EXPLANATION let's read some more Troper Tales, okay?

From Noble Bigot :

"I'm none too fond of the LGBT (or "Irregulars" as I like to call them) and I particulary dislike trannies, but I think I'm a pretty decent guy regardless."

Hey, of course you are! Everybody at Aryan Nations loves your cookies!

From Disproportionate Retribution :

"This troper was born male, and was sentenced a year's full-time community service for the "crime".

DURRR Wimmin are evil!!! Where does this guy live? In Bizarro World's Sudan?

From Gratuitous Japanese :

"This troper likes to use the word "kawaii" in its context, since there isn't a readily apparent English equivalent."

It's really cute that you do that. I personally find people who do that adorable, because Japanese language is really sweet and charming. Lovable!

From Yandere (Adjust seatbelts now) :

"This troper treated her best friend as the center of her universe and loved her more than anything. That 'best friend' eventually stopped caring about her, stopped being friends with her, and got in a sexual relationship with a guy this troper strongly disliked. The only thing that was stopping me from showing up at his house with a knife was that they both live somewhat far away (though constant hate messages and the sort were sent.) However, I still haven't stopped having fantasies about covering my ex-best friend with her boyfriend's blood and guts."

And thus Chris-Chan found his significant other in This Troper, being happy together and covering people in guts forever and ever.

"I went out with a long-time pal of mine for two months or so. Then I broke up with him. Then, he decided to go out with an exchange student. Only a week later, said exchange student died of some unknown disease... Teehee! "

Maybe it was the AIDS you infected him with LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.

From Kids Are Cruel :

"Some kid "borrowed" This Troper's VHS tape of Casper then conviently moved away. Then there is time some girl called out while he was riding his bike causing him to crash into a parked car. He lost a front tooth! "

I'll tell you what to do.

Find him. Facebook can be very useful. He'll have some photos there. Now you have to look at the background on this photos to trace his home. Google Earth can also be useful.

Now that you know where he lives, go to his house.It doesn't matter the distance when a VHS tape is involved. Ring at his door and wait until he opens. That's where you hit him with the pipe. Now tie him in the basement.

If he has any wife or children, you know what to do. Rape her and, if you are particularly bitter that day rape the children as well. Just don't rape the pets, that would be gross.

And now, some cool blooded torture, you know, bamboo canes between the nails, electrodes in the testicles, the regular stuff. Don't leave any of them alive, of course.

Oh, and don't forget your Casper VHS tape!

From "Tranquil Fury" :

"I was enjoying a beer, when some guy accidentally spilled his cola drink on my white skirt, which was new. I got up, touched his shoulder, and when he turned around I broke his arm. Then I just sat back down and finished my drink. "

Well, this is either a really violent woman or a really average Scottish.

I'm deeply sorry about that joke.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Troper Tales Tidbits. Incest, Stalking and Self-Insert fic.

So here it is. My first article related to Troper Tales, the other hellhole of  Tv Tropes. Unlike its subsection Fetish Fuel, Troper Tales has some interesting entries and can be a fun read. It even has 10 "Crowning Moment of Heartwarming " pages, a fact that I think speaks quite well of Tv Tropes users. But I know you people come here for the weird stuff, so...

From Stalker With A Crush:

"This troper just read this whole page... and hates you all (Or, to be exact, the ones who got stalked). How the HELL did you manage to get someone obsessed with you? I'm the first to admit, I'm a narcissist, so I would KILL for someone to be like that to me. Needless to say, they wouldn't even need to stalk me, as I'd keep them around 24/7. So, I repeat, HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET PEOPLE TO BE OBSESSED WITH YOU?!?!?! * breaks down in depression* "

Legends tell that this person goes to Police Stations every day and screams at women who had been raped how the hell did they manage to get raped. Because, you know, (s)he is a narcissist, and (s)he would KILL for getting raped. It's quite uncomfortable. (S)he also wears a T-Shirt that says "Do what you want, I'm a narcissist". Hell, (s)he is probably masturbating while reading this.

"This troper has a stalker who is four years older than her (she's in grade nine, stalker's in grade 12) who constantly follows and will approach her. Not only that, her stalker is extremely touchy-feely and has tried to massage this troper's shoulders numerous times, even though [I've] made it clear [I] do not like it. [I] finally just had to spoil the ending of Code Geass to get them off of my back. Did [I] mention that my stalker is a 6'2 girl? This troper is straight and is trying to stay faaaaar away. "

Now you know, if someone is stalking you, you just have to spoil the ending of some anime and that person will dissapear. Or he might as well rape you. It depends in the person.

"This troper took as many pictures of her as he dared. The jpegs and video clips are all in an organized folder... many times larger than the porn stash. MIKANAAAAAA "

Hey look, is Mayor Kravindish.

From Teacher Student Romance:

"I complimented my teacher's ass today thinking she would not hear (she was doing a 1 on 3 lesson, so it was just her and my mates) a couple of minutes later she pushed her hips against my shoulders for about 2 minutes. hard. she started moaning / panting loud enough for me to hear through my headphones that were on full blast. "

Den de nex dai we wuz at claz and seh tol me2 go 2 hre ofis an seh sed 2 me

-De teecha - I no wat u sed abut m ass ysterdau
Me: Im so sorry
*de teech: u don need 2 b. I liek it.

Den seh leaned in extra-close an i lloked in2 her awesum cleevage an i felt reely lucky.

And then…………… suddenly just as I her kissed me passionately. she climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against her desk. i took of her top and her took of my clothes. Then i put my boy thingie into hers and we did it for the first time.

-OH Dis troper!11111 Oh my fucking gud Dis troper11111!!! She screemed passively as i had an eructation. And then...


It was................................. de principal!!!

From Parental Incest:

"This troper had a dream in which this happened. She woke up thoroughly squicked and needing Brain Bleach. "

OK, I can't really blame her because it just happened in a dream, but...did you really felt the need to tell the whole Internet about it? There's things you don't want to share with anyone, and this is definetly one of them.

So that's it. Yes, I know is a short entry,but I need to go and look for more Troper Tales pages to rant about. There are lots of them! If you have any suggestions, just post a comment.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

This Troper might make "Troper Tales" articles.

I'm not going to stop doing Fetish Fuel, but seeing as a lot of the entries there share the same fetishes, I think is redundant to diss in transformation or Loli three times in the same article. So I'll start doing also Troper Tales. Now, where I should begin?

* reads the Stalker With A Crush page*



Oh boy, this is going to be fun.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

You think that's bad? Remember the Family Guy article?

Yep,I am alive. I have been busy with school and other IRL shit, so I think you people will understand that I'm slowing down the frequency of the posts.
Anyway, today we are looking at the Family Guy article. Before I even start, I have to say that I don't understand people being turned on by anything that Seth McFarlane draws. The characters are so B^U that I find it impossible even when they rely in very obvious Fan Service.

Well,let's see this. This will be a short one.

"And it's entirely possible that Peter has a cuckold fetish, as he was seriously juiced to find out Lois used to be a KISS groupie, and Brian has hinted that Lois hasn't even been faithful in marriage. "

You say cuckold fetish, I say blind stupidness. That's the joke,Peter is such an idiot that he doesn't realize that Lois cheating on him is something bad.

"Family Guy also had Chris' hot teacher Mrs. Lockhart, who stored everything in her big, bouncy cleavage. I've never wanted to be a piece of chalk, a sword, or an entire classroom's worth of test papers so badly in my life. "

AND SHE MARRIES TO A BEAR. OmG this furry troper almost dies when (s)he watched it the first time because... I can't do it, I can't go on like this,I tried writing like someone who writes in FF and I just can't. I have zero talent. *sob*

"This troper is fairly certain someone has the hots for Joe. A well-built, good looking man in a wheelchair. And the fact that he can't have sex undoubtedly sets off a few eunuch fetishists. "

Eunuch fetishists? Why? How can someone be excited by an eunuch? What do you think you can do with an eunuch? Look at him while he doesn't have sex to you? Wow, that sounds sexy.

"Brian, a dog, gets with human women."

And that is quite cool,because, you know, hi stiffs his little dog pink thingy in a woman's vagina. And he probably makes those funny movements dogs make when they are humping each other. Well, time to eat lunch.

"In the "Really starting to wonder about Seth McFarlane..." files, they seem to show women on the toilet an awful lot. "

IS POTTY HUMOUR. That's it. Seth McFarlane thinks poop = hilarious. His only fetish is making gallons of money thanks to fart jokes.

"Meg, definitely. Canon may try to make her seem as hideous as possible, but they didn't take a few things into account: Glasses, Yandere tendencies, chubby chasers. Hell, just check the Family Guy folder at Next to Lois, Meg is the most commonly drawn female character. "

Ah,Family Guy porn. That thing that is so,so,so,so,so badly drawn. No one should masturbate to this. Is like paying for an account in

"This troper thinks she's hot too! Glasses, a little chubby, Deadpan Snarker look in her face, loser status, and having a nerd always stalking her. She has three geeky loser friends who also wear glasses! "

Deadpan Snarker? That's the usual McFarlane expression. Everybody has it in these cartoons. B^U.

"Stewie and, most of, his girlfriends. Bonus points for the Foe Yay with his half-brother and his odd friendship with Brian."

And this is the kind of people who looks at babyfur,if you ever wondered.

Since this is short, I'll like to share with you the results of an investigation I've been doing during this summer. I've come to the conclusion that Chris Bores, Tim Buckley and Seth McFarlane are the same person. Here are some evidences.

  •   The three of them are famous thanks to copying a popular concept.
  •   Their works are a case of  Love It or Hate It
  •   They have a similar sense of humor consisting in random jokes not always relating to the story and the use of violence as a punchline
  •   Their characters are rather inexpressive.
  •   Their attempts to drama or seriousness have been poorly received.
  •   They are fat.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Looney Tunes. Childhood ruined in 3...2...1....

Who would have thought that the classic Looney Tunes cartoons could be Fetish Fuel for someone? Well, they are, and I think we should respect everyone no matter their sexual tendences.



Nah, I'm just screwing with you.

"The sheer number of times that Bugs Bunny crossdresses boggles the mind. Probably the most famous example is in "What's Opera, Doc?""

Oh, and don't forget kissing another man. Because that's obviously treated as Fetish Fuel, and not as a comic relief.

"In one cartoon, Bugs marries Elmer Fudd in a Dream Sequence. With Fudd wearing the wedding dress."

It seems they didn't forget it.Good. Now seriously, it's amazing how people can find sexual excitement in situations that are played for laughs in children's cartoons. I understand people being furries, but c'mon, this is freaking Looney Tunes! It's like someone being excited by Olive Oyl. Is just wrong.

"Not one mention of Lola Bunny? Really? For shame..."

Hey Nostalgia Critic what do you have to say? :
"We don't wanna fuck bunnies! ...I can't believe I have to say this, we don't wanna fuck bunnies! I mean we're people! Therefore we like to fuck other people! I'm sure there's some SMALL percentage of people out there that like to fuck bunnies, but that hardly seems like a very profitable demographic. I mean, I put it to you: Have you ever seen a bunny that you ACTUALLY had the hots for?"
Poor innocent little guy, he didn't know of furries by that time.

"In "Banty Raids", Foghorn Leghorn is bound and beak-tied and forcibly dressed in drag by a machine, then married to a horny bantam rooster. "

Ok, the bound fetish is pretty common in real life, so I guess it's fine. The problem here once again is there are Looney Tunes cartoons. I think there are better places to please your bound fetish than Looney Tunes.

"Penelope Pussycat, the cat from the Pepe LePew shorts, especially when she gets a voice. Everything Sounds Sexier In French, indeed."

This is like the Lola Bunny thing, so I won't repeat myself in that. The response to that, however...

"By the way, what was the deal with Pepe? He's an attempted rapist for crying out loud."

Whoah,whoah,whoah and I thought I had a dirty mind. You know, there's platonic love and then there's rape. I don't remember Pepe le Pew putting sleeping pills in Penelope's drink anyway.

"This troper has sometimes had rather evil daydreams of Wile E. Coyote finally catching the Road Runner and eating him. What? That's what he wants to do!"

Oh my god an animal eating another animal? That is so exciting for some reason. Well, at least this person can say he has his collection of nature documentaries with educational purposes.

Friday, September 3, 2010

Weird Fetishes sell. ( Advertising )

You wouldn't expect something so harmless-looking like the "Advertising" article to be material for this blog. Well, yes it is. Sorry, I can't come with anything witty to write here.

"A German ad for Tampax brand tampons involves a woman, naked except for white panties and goggles, being sprayed with red liquid. The camera zooms in on her torso, then her face being covered with the red liquid, then zooms back out to display her still pristine white panties, despite being otherwise completely covered in the "blood"."

Watching "The Shining" with this person must be really weird. You know, for the erections and all that.

"There was a European commercial for fruit and vegetables that had them popping and dripping all over women's faces."

 That commercial was a parody of the concept "Sex Sells". Well, this person obviously didn't get the joke.

"The Orangina advertisements. It's like the ad crew, when asked to create an animal mascot group that would appeal to adults, went online and downloaded as much Furry porn as they could, for reference. Words cannot do it justice."

Oh my God, the furries have gained access to the publicity bussiness! They are gaining power, I told you! Soon, the whole planet will be theirs and no one will be safe! It's time to panic!!!! Seriously though, I have to agree that that commercial is so obviously furry appealing that I can't really criticize that Troper for putting it in.

"There was a commercial for Hardee's in which people are "measuring" how big their mouths are - by stuffing their fists, or a huge stack of straws. An article for Slate even comment on how they managed to get this one in general hours."

I bet the Goatse guy used the same methods seen in that commercial. There, if you ever found that commercial sexually appealing I ruined it forever. I'm a bastard like that.

"Subservient Chicken, anyone?"

No, non, nein, не, Não, Nu, Ej, δεν, Yok, ううん,  نو... well, I think you get it.
 Ok, one more

"The infamous Carls Jr. commercials with Paris Hilton in a skimpy black outfit washing a car is considered hot by a certain section of the populace."

I can understand furry. I can understand Shota and Loli. I can understand inflation, bestialism, vorephilia. I can even understand that someone feels sexually aroused by "2 girls 1 cup". But Paris Hilton ? You are seriously messed up.

"The new M&M's Premiums commercials with the green M&M dancing around and licking chocolate off her fingers suggestively all while being showered with little M&M's like flower petals. Hotness!!"

-The guy with no name that shows up for no reason in " The Room" to make out with his girlfriend says : "Chocolate is a symbol of love".

"The new Old Navy ads featuring talking mannequins can be somewhat appealing if you have an inanimate TF fetish...Or So I Heard."

You know, it's called Uncanny Valley for a reason.

" This Capri Sun spot, which has a young Asian girl's hands and feet turned into whoopee cushions. Some kind of weird crossover between bondage, Lolicon, and inflation. And why the lingering shots of her feet? "

You know, when it features live actions humans is not really Lolicon. Just saying that.

"This German anti sexual abuse ad manages to mix Fetish Fuel, Squick, Misaimed Fandom, Naughty Tentacles, Poes Law, Uncanny Valley, Star Fish Alien, Nightmare Fuel, Mars Needs Women, Does This Remind You Of Anything, Freud Was Right, and Puppeteer Parasite all in one ad. And notice that she never actually attacks it or even attepts to stop it, Her worst reaction is in middle age, when she's like "Awe, I'm about to get raped again. Oh well."

I tried to watch that and I couldn't make it to the half, so I'll let the Tropers respond for me :

  • This troper (who, admittedly, has had close brushes with sexual abuse in the past) found the ad intensely creepy. If you aren't into tentacle rape, the whole sinuous snake thing textured like human flesh is Nausea Fuel right off the bat. Since childhood, the woman in the ad is just resigned to having this thing draped all over her. It's not the sexual abuse that continues, but the scars it leaves. Hell, this troper is into tentacle porn and it made her want to gag.
  • Well, I think that indicates how unsuccessful the ad is; when the only people who are creeped out are the ones who've been through it, I think it's safe to say you've screwed up.
  • When your reaction to this ad is "o hai, Fetish Fuel", I think it's safe to say, YOU're messed up.
Thanks. I couldn't say it better. Mainly because I suck at English.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Harry Potter and the Leather Pants of Doom

Today we are looking at the Harry Potter article. You know, for a series that has spawned such a large number of Slash Fics the article about it in Fetish Fuel is not as bad as you would imagine. But don't worry , we'll find something.

"I'm sure Bellatrix Lestrange from Harry Potter was intended to send chills down the spines of twelve-year-old fangirls. Just not in that way! (She could probably deal out some GREAT discipline...and imagine being Voldemort, rewarding her for a successful mission...Mmmm.) As it happens, said fangirl realized she liked girls as a direct result of her obsessive love for dear Bella. So it goes."

Well, if you're talking about the Bellatrix of the movies, I can understand. She's played by Helena Bonham Carter,after all. Now, if you are talking about the Bellatrix from the books...*shudders*  Sorry, but she is just scary! She killed Sirius! Poor guy *cries manly tears*

"Yes, we know he's not supposed to be sexy... but Snape's insistence on being called "Sir" still sends this troper's mind places that probably don't need to be expounded upon."

That was nice from you to no expound that. No, really.

"The very fact that a sweet, kind, reserved man like Remus Lupin has his... wolfish tendencies he must keep at bay... er, yeah, see the Twilight entry above. His "wolfish" nature is of course quite popular in fanfic."

I guess the Twilight entry (s)he is refering to was there before Harry Potter got its own page and it was placed in the Literature page. Anyway if I remember well the wolf Lupin transforms into in the books is described to look a lot like a regular wolf, so yeah. Oh, the werewolf from the movies? Sorry, I'm trying to delete the third movie from my mind.

"Sirius Black. Tom Riddle. Severus Snape."

Umm... Would you care to explain why? You are going against the Wiki rules, ma 'am!

"Harry Potter. When he is mad. Really, really mad."

Ugh... Sorry, it's OK you like it, it's only that I hated those parts of the books. Seriously, when did Harry Potter turn into a whiny brat that spents a third of the book talking in all-caps? He looks like a Youtube commenter.

"This troper just read a post on a forum that pointed out Dudley's only non-Harry contact with wizards gave him A: a pig's tail, and B: a large tongue. Upon reading that, this troper paused, then immediately opened the edit page for TV Tropes' Fetish Fuel:Literature."

I can see why would you want someone with a large tongue, but a pig's tail?  Even if you are a furry that's not exciting. It's a human with a pig's tail!

"The Death Eaters and the Ministry under Voldemort's control have strong Nazi overtones to them. These often achieve the desired result, but sometimes... they achieve something else. (Also, Gellert Grindelwald. Handsome blond gay Nazi, basically, and the whole covert poisonous friendship thing really, really pushes this troper's buttons. Damn it.)"

You know who also liked nazis? HITLER!! And you know who also made predictable jokes? TIM BUCKLEY!!

"The scene in Deathly Hallows, where Draco's Mom whispered in Harry's ear while feeling his chest, is the only time this troper has felt something move in his pants..."

Dude, she is asking him about the fate of her son. It's one of the most emotionally intense parts of the book and it gave you a boner? I pity you.

"In Goblet of Fire when Draco gets turned into a ferret against his will."

This is like the "SpongeBob turning into an octopus"  scene. Listen, I can understand transformation fetishes, but seriously, this is a 14-year-old boy turning into a ferret! How can be someone be turned on by that? Apparently I'm a self-righteous douche for not understanding it. Well , thats just wrong and *cough* GOD HATES FAGS *cough*. Oh man,this coughs. I need some Juanolas.