Pokemon. Gotta ..."catch" them all! (First Part)

The Pokemon article is less squicky that the SSB one.Of course,that's not saying much. It's Furry territory with some little sparkles of Shota refering to the human characters.Let's see:

"Gotta Catch Em All ... Then have Sex with them. This includes, but is not limited to Time, Space, Darkness, The Land, The Sea, The Sky, Various other elements, and all of creation and life itself!"

This sentence is very,very strange. There are some recurring fetishes in TV Tropes,but I've never seen one of this magnitude. A fetish for creation and life itself? This person wants to fuck literally everything. Everything.  

 "Also, Absol. A few pokemon are easy to consider as The Woobie. And if you're into that..."

What? Absol is not even anthropomorfic. It's four-legged, so It's not even furry-friendly, It's downright zoophiliac. And If you a have a thing for woobies (characters so cute you want to hug),why don't you try,I don't know, ANYTHING BUT A GODDAM POKEMON ???!!?!?!¿¿¡

"The mere idea that you can breed Pokemon ever since Gold and Silver, especially most of everything with a Ditto. And that's not going into female looking Pokemon like Gardevoir..."

The mere idea of (esentially) animals breeding turns you on? Man,good thing you aren't a farmer.

"This troper read a fanfic that delves into this particular thing [about Gardevoir] , involving a trainer and his Gardevoir falling in love and having to save the world from Giovanni and a demon-man from destroying the world. It's actually pretty good, but as always, Your Mileage May Vary."

May Vary? More like Will Vary! That's not me talking, the replies to this were unanymous in that fanfic  being horrible and rather graphic.They say it's called "Sinners" so if you want to throw up for some reason you can read it.

During a disgustingly long portion of the article the Fuelers (new nickname) drool over Gardevoir,Lucario and Loppuny and how hot they are. Then they start talking about "masculine good-looking" Pokemon like Machamps.Finally they start looking for phallic imagery in Pokemon shapes ( Palkia and Combusken) and vagina-looking Pokemon (Cloyster and...Cradily??) Why Cradily? Here's an image from it: 

Does this looks like a vagina or a penis to you? In fact, does this look like anything to you? (Image from LegendaryPokemon.net)

"Why hasn't Metapod been mentioned? What about the whole "My Metapod is harder than yours" battle?. I'm sure someone has a fetish for having their "Metapod" being squeezed by a Pinsir"

I'm pretty sure no one wants to have his cock being squeezed by a giant bug with spikes in its horns. It seems rather painful. Besides,you would end up in Offended.(DON'T LOOK AT IT FOR GOD'S SAKE)

Oh shit, I'm getting sick of reading this. I'm halfway through the article,so expect a second part of this.